It's happened again. College roommate I've known for twenty-four years called last week. He's in NYC on business. We ended up getting together and having a great time. Strangely, this is getting to be a familiar pattern recently. It's a welcomed one, though. This conferring is comforting. TP a few weeks back and The MD last week. They call and we celebrate. Who's gonna be next? The more the merrier. I say: bring it on. Summer beckons so, I may be pleasantly surprised ahead.Actually, The MD was my second roommate after I got my undergrad. The MD stepped into being part of this place about a year after I was out of school. He was still matriculating. I had already been out of school an entire year. While I ended up graduating four years to the day I was dropped off on campus, postgraduate life for many, as was the case with me, remained within the orbit of the University of Arizona.
I may have had a job after college, but the paycheck at the time demanded retaining a roommate or roommates. I lived with The MD until Wifey and I got hitched back in 1988. He was my roommate for over four years. Even after Wifey became part of this place, and even after I was able to afford to have had a place of my own then, I never felt that it was ever necessary to have moved out. Not until Wifey and I tied the knot, that is. Things were that cool.
The MD happened to have been around and supportive through some very difficult and stressful life transitions for me. He knows me well. When I left home to attend college at 18 and until The MD came around five years later, there were at least 15 roommates in between. He, however, ended up becoming one of my best buddies and the best roommate that I ever had. He remains a very trusted confidant. Wifey shares the esteem and sense of trust that I have for him.
The MD is one of the most intelligent people that I know. After he finished his studies, he became the manager of one of the biggest and most popular bars around the university and perhaps in the state of Arizona: The Bum Steer. That alone makes him an Einstein in my book. Why? The girls.
Coincidentally, a couple of weeks ago I blogged about how bars had become so irrelevant for me these days. But, there was a time that they were very important for my social life. The MD and I would host after-closing-hours bar parties (an 'after hours') in our apartment practically every Friday night. The crew were always: the bar's employees, friend's from my workplace, Fio the trusted house Rottweiler, booze, beer, music and many gals and their pals who were all given tickets (invites) at the bar with our address and phone.
That was what the standard Friday night scene for over four years used to be. These shindigs that got primed over at the bar earlier, carried over to our apartment and into the early Saturday hours practically every week. The birthdays and the Super Bowl parties remain today as the most memorable of ones.
If it wasn't on a Friday, It would be the next day on a Saturday night. If it wasn't at our place, it would be at someone else's apartment who worked at The Bum Steer. Basically, and generally, it seems today that they were mostly held at ours', however. It is difficult to believe the debauchery of those years. It was a hell of a lot of fun. We were much younger. We were different people. It was the 80's. We both owned waterbeds. We were living our very own version of "St. Elmo's Fire". 'Nuff said.
Anywho, all good things seem to always come to an end. One morning after all the beer ran out, and the turntable had finished playing some record's flipside, and everyone had gone home, all of a sudden we both grew up. I got married and moved out East a year later. The MD got married soon after and then took a job with the U.S. State Department. A job that today has taken him all over the world. To all the shit-holes and to all the pretty places. This weekend it brought him to New York City; a city that's relevant to some.
The MD met me at work on Friday and we drove out to the burbs. Wifey had already set up a date with another couple for that evening and we weren't going to bag on either. I knew that it wouldn't be a problem with The MD by himself. We didn't have any fancy plans, we were just headed out to a pub in near-bye Millburn, St. James' Gate, to get acquainted, imbibe and eat.
I, unfortunately, had worked two 14 hour days in a row and I was bushed. I could have been much better at the discourse. I didn't know this couple well at all. Had met the wife through Wifey but not the husband. I was actually relieved that The MD was with us because I needed a stand-in this evening. Don't get me wrong, I was pleasant to be with and with everyone. While I did my best to remain well buoyed this evening, I nevertheless was just running on empty on this night. I was just glad that The MD was there to bat.
The MD settled right in with the quick wit and his brand of humor. It was very interesting to sit somewhat passively, sipping on some Boddington pints, having The MD carry much of the conversation and to see him elicit some very befuddled looks from the other couple who did not know him. Looks that spoke: "Who is this guy?", "Is this guy for real?" and "What is it again that you do?" I found myself cracking some laughs on occasion with some of the esoteric and subtle zings that no one else was noticing or catching. I feel I may have been the one having the best time just by doing much of the observing on that evening.
The convivance lasted until about midnight. I was the one driving so, I was the one tacitly prompting the waiter and ensuring all had had enough and whether everyone was somewhat ready to call it an evening. Had this night been under different circumstances, I would have lasted much much longer. Not on this night.
I drove the other couple to their home and The MD slept at our home as planned. When I got home, I mumbled my good-nights and I turned-off the bulb in my head within minutes after having walked through the door. Wifey and The MD settled in the kitchen and listened to XM 80's while they wine, beer and cheesed it until 4:00 a.m.
Wifey eventually slipped into bed and slowly and gently woke me up. She prepped me and then saddled on me. When she did that, I became wide awake. Invigorated. I asked her, "What brought this on?" She said she just spent the last three hours practically talking about me. I mentioned that I'm sure that it couldn't have all been good. She said, she wanted to show me how much she appreciates me and how lucky she feels. "Three hours talking to The MD brings this on?" I asked. She said, "He's one of your biggest cheerleaders, Jerry!". "And I'm not drunk either.", Wifey added.
You know .....Wifey does have it real good. Since she's surrounded by similar women with similar backgrounds all the time, I know she forgets about that sometimes. Her girlfriend down the street is getting divorced. Her soon to be ex-husband is somewhat of a shirker about a lot of things and has a personality that's incapable of allowing him to mix with people. She's mentioned that he takes anti-depressants in the past. Wifey's friend is tired of his shit.
A few weeks back over lunch with this friend of her’s (ours), Wifey had mentioned that her friend, ME, said that she’s conflicted and scared about what divorce will bring. Wifey mentioned that ME kept saying how fortunate Wifey is. Wifey mentioned that she downplayed these kind words. That her perception may be the proverbial grass being greener elsewhere. Wifey robotically pointed out all of ME’s material possessions, her family’s largesse, and that she has a lot to be grateful for.
I pointed out to Wifey the many things that Wifey has that her friend does not have and the biggest one is how Wifey can be a full time mom. Something I know ME longs to be.
"That's what ME wants", I told her. She wants to use her Georgetown MBA to do pick-up and drop-off like the many MBA mom's who live in this town do.", I said. "Just like the alpha-MBA mom you are", I added. "For her to do that, without a husband around, she would have to sell her home and go live at her mom’s sprawl down in Normandy Beach. It would disempower her.", I told Wifey.
When I stated that to Wifey, Wifey looked like she had just smelled a rose or two. I have a feeling that The MD may have furthered this opinion of mine. Wifey is fortunate and I’m very happy that she is. I'm sure The Savages think so.
Mmmmmm. Old friends dropping bye and upping this penny stock of mine are welcome anytime.
I can get used to having cheerleaders over to visit and party very easily. Much the same way it used to be when The MD and I both lived together.
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posted by JerryNJ @ 9:01 PM
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