Strother Martin, a Hollywood journeyman actor who played the part of "The Captain" in the motion picture "Cool Hand Luke", uttered one of the most oft-quoted lines in all of moviedom: "What we have here, is a failure to communicate."Martin's role is being Paul Newman's jailer through his incarceration for having stolen a parking meter. In brutal form, he is also intent on teaching Newman, who lives life to the beat of a very different drummer, to toe-the-line. Early on, one realizes that clashes and conflicts will rule the storyline. It is a magnificent movie.
One of the interpretations of theme that I derive from the storyline is in how one's quality of life can be very simply determined by the choices that one makes. In essence, the jailer is professing to his prisoner that his true failure is not his inability to understand right from wrong but in his inability to make the right choices for himself. The choices that he has made, have brought the prisoner to the exact place that he happens to be.
Life is all about choices. Every bit of it. Morning, noon and night. Twenty-four/seven/three sixty-five. You are where you are because of all the choices that you make and have made.
I didn't know the man. I wish I had. In the last week or so, I've been quietly mourning the death of a most dignified public figure in Paul Newman. Newman elected to not only live his life in a very distinguished manner but, to also use it to touch people's hearts with the philanthropy that he created and that he has now perpetuated. He used his life to touch other's in a way that would have never had occurred without him.
He could have taken the stereotypical path of the detached movie star. Yet, he chose kindness, integrity, generosity and friendship to his end. It was his choice.
I understand that adversity in one's life will present it's unique set of challenges. Illness and disasters can deliver a big blow to one's life path. Newman knew that and he spent a good portion of his life ameliorating some of life's curveballs pitched to others. I'm convinced that Newman knew about the simple concept of choices because he mostly chose to help those who had been affected by acts of God. He didn't work the soup kitchens more than he helped build refuges for those who had been stricken with illness.
This past week, I have chosen to tacitly honor his life-efforts forward. I've asked Wifey to purchase nothing but the Newman brand of condiments for use in our home from now on. That is a choice that will make me (and Wifey) feel good at the checkout line every time.
But, regarding my earlier point however, if you're happy or unhappy it is a direct result of one's choices.
If you're not married or attached to someone and you long to be, there is a reason for that and it is directly related to the choices you make. If you hate your job, it is your choice to continue hating it by remaining at that job. If you haven't been to Paris and you've always wanted to go there, there are choices you've made that prevent you from such a goal.
A couple of months ago I reached out to a long time friend, Rich, who I haven't heard from for quite some time. His situation wasn't pretty. I've known for some time that he's been struggling to keep his second marriage together and I called him to see how he's doing. There's a kid involved with this marriage. I believe these problems of his are aging him too quickly. I know his personality pretty well and, after talking to him, I can tell you that his problems are attributed directly to the women he chooses and his personality that is incompatible with those two women.
He's been spending his life looking for a woman who's a Marilyn Chambers (dating myself) in the bedroom and a June Cleaver (again) everywhere else. He got "June" with the first one and he has "Marilyn" with the second one. This Marilyn, the former Las Vegas show girl, has been having an affair. June, on the other hand, who was considering joining a convent until my buddy came along, was too frigid and he couldn't cope with what he would characterize as having a "blue balled marriage".
I called a mutual friend of ours after I talked to him. This other friend of mine has his own checkered past with his relationships. This other friend who I called did have his own sage opinion. His opinion was derived from knowing Rich. He felt that Rich has been making too many bad decisions in his life and felt that the situation that he's in has nothing to do with the cards that he was handed at birth. It was an unsolicited opinion.
I agreed. Hence this post.
A couple of months ago, I was approached with the opportunity to breach a contract. The opportunity to have done so was practically paved in front of me with lights and ribbons. I thought about Cool Hand Luke Jackson. I thought about Rich. I also thought about Henri Charrière and of his characterization in the the movie Papillon.
I thought about how Charrière managed to escape Hell and succeeded to deliver himself to Heaven, only to return to Hell because for no good reason (revenge), he chose not to live in the heaven he had found in the region of Guajira.
http://www.arlo.net/resources/lyrics/guantanamera.shtml
But most of all, coincidentally, I thought about how Paul Newman and how he had been living a dignified life. A dignity that he would project and live through with his marriage.
Newman married actress Joanne Woodward and was married to her for 50 years when he died. In an interview with Playboy magazine many years ago, he famously uttered one of his most memorable quotes. They were words that were never scripted for him for a movie part. He said what he felt.
http://www.flickr.com/photos/12071800@N02/2895145435/
I have also chosen to eat steak....everyday.
*!*
posted by JerryNJ @ 8:45 PM
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